A Long Summer of Change

I've been thinking a lot lately about the events of this summer. It has been a very long summer for me.

I allowed myself to be talked out of my seat on the MOMS Club board of directors. Then in the transition to a new board there was a mix up, and someone went over my head trying to do my job, and made me and a few other people looks like damned fools in the process. I was very angry, in fact there are no words for the emotions that I felt at the end of June. Blind rage would sum it up, I suppose. I acted out of rage and still regret it, but done is done. There is no taking back the words, and even if I could...I probably wouldn't.
MOMS Club of Tehachapi-Annual Banquet

The month of July passed very quickly with my sister visiting us, and them my daughter and I heading to South Carolina to see friends and family. Tragedy struck the day before we left when my most loyal and loved companion, Molly my cat, had to be put to sleep. I was devastated. It was a huge loss, and even now on September first, I am still very sad when I think of my poor dying Molly. I loved this cat. From the moment I picked her up in Virgina I knew she was special. She was loving and loyal and was always there waiting for me sit down so she could take over my lap. There was never a more playful, affectionate, or sweet natured cat as my Molly.
Molly snuggled into a freshly dried and very warm blanket

While in Charleston, I was invited to stay with a friend. Looking back on the events as they happened: It seems that she was under the false impression that I was coming to SC to visit her-and her alone. When I tried to explain to her that I had lots of people to see in a short time and that she may not get a lot time with me, she seemed OK. Then after a day with my sister and some last minute plan changes and miscommunication, this "Friend" went crazy: Yelling at me and berating me in front of my 4 year old child. I was accused of a lot of ugly things that were not true and I was called a lot of names that are too hurtful to bring back up. The ironic thing is that she had hurt me greatly several years ago and I (foolishly) tried to patch things up and pursue a friendship with her, as our children were best friends. I wish I had learned my lesson then. Sometimes, you can't fix crazy! The sad thing is that I was so hurt and so angry that the rest of my vacation was tainted with the stain of what had happened on that Friday afternoon.
The SC Aquarium, our Friday 'post-crazy episode' excursion
Two weeks ago my daughter started Kindergarten. Even though I stayed steady and upbeat on the outside, inside I had died a bit on her first day. This is, after all, the first big step on her road to independence and not needing me. She and I have been inseparable for four and a half years. Now she is in the care of her teacher and her school 5 mornings per week. Someone else is teaching her about the world around her. I did briefly contemplate homeschooling her, but I decided in the end it would be for selfish reasons and not for her long-term benefit.
My precious child-first day of kindergarten

So...yes, it's been a long summer of change and closed doors. Anyone seen the open windown yet?

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